Monday, July 17, 2006

CELEBRITY NEWS: DeNiro admits "I can't stop writing shit on myself!"

Robert DeNiro has confessed that since recently re-watching his performance in Martin Scorsese's 'Cape Fear,' he can't stop writing shit all over himself.

"I blame Scorsese. Nowhere in the original version of the movie, or in the book it's based upon, does Robert DeNiro keep writing shit all over himself," DeNiro told us, while writing on his forehead.

DeNiro has committed himself to the Lake Valley rehab centre in Los Angeles while trying to kick his addiction, but has told of the struggle he is facing.

"Just last night I stole a lipstick from a lady's purse and wrote this poem on my cock: My shopping list is written/Inside my left ear/Fuck you Scorsese/And Fuck You Cape Fear."

DeNiro recently recovered from obsessively behaving like an unfunny German dictator who wants to kill a moose, after re-watching his performance in "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle."

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