Tuesday, July 18, 2006

BENNY TYRELL'S MOVIE REVIEWS: The Break-Up



Hi, folks. Benny here. I’ve just been to see “The Break-Up,” an “unromantic comedy” starring Jennifer Aniston from the incomprehensible Friends and Vince Vaughn from the frankly baffling Dodgeball.

Where do I begin reviewing this nonsensical claptrap? First of all, I had no idea what any of this film was about. As much as I can gather, Jennifer Aniston played a woman who moved around in the same place Vince Vaughn resided in. Let me state this categorically: I have no idea who these people were supposed to be, or what their relationship with each other was supposed to be. None of this was explained.

The movie begins well enough. Unfortunately, after the opening titles have finished rolling, the film descends into a mess of impossible to comprehend noises and movements from the people on the screen. At one stage, I even turned to my brother (who had taken me to see the movie) and I said to him, “I am frightened by the colours.” Yes, there was a veritable cacophany of different colours everywhere on the screen. There was no rhyme or reason for any of the colours, or any of the movements.

I must admit that I did laugh at one point in the movie, when Vince Vaughn made noises out of his mouth, and Aniston looked at him in that way she tends to do. The timing was spot-on. However, even this moment was ruined by the following spiralling mess of arm gestures and guttural yorking from the throats of the two actors.

Let me reinforce this: at no stage in this movie-watching experience did I have any idea what was happening to me.

I should probably list this next thing as a spoiler. At the end of the movie something totally baffling happened. The two actors moved here and there, saying “words” towards each other. There was a strange moment of physical interaction, and then some harmonic noises emitted from the cinema speakers. What director in his right mind sees this nonsense as a fitting ending to a comedy? It is almost as if he pointed his camera at two people and then just told them to make noises and movements until I was frightened.

I must pay credit to the man who did the end credits, however. These were all very straight and ordered and easy to read.

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